- He said . . . I don't now why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
- He said . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the oven while I sit on the sofa and fart!
- He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . . .Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
- He said . . . Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . . . I would but you're never there.
- What do men and sperm have in common?
They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
- What is the difference between men and government bonds?
The bonds mature.
- Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
They already have boyfriends.
- What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
- Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
- Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
- For all those men who say. "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Well women can say "it's not worth buying the entire pig just to get a little sausage".